Have Needles, Will Travel

So I traveled to a an international conference this weekend. I finished the letrozole, but am still on daily lupron, estrogen patches, and my meds for anxiety and depression (in the process of tapering off two of them and continuing with one). The lupron was already opened and has to be refrigerated. The nurses told me that the refrigeration is to discourage bacteria growth and not for stability of the medication. She said we’d be ok, if it wasn’t refrigerated 100% of the time, but that we’d have to be extra careful with sanitation when preparing and administering it.

So I had my whole set-up ready to go. First I put the lupron bottle in it’s box then wrapped it in bubble wrap, partly to help keep it upright and partly to keep it from freezing. I packed it in an insulated reusable grocery bag with cold packs. In the outside pocket of the bag, I had a copy of my doctor’s note on letterhead from the clinic and the top of the outerbox where the actual prescription sticker is. A while back, I had to take home a pre-filled needle of medication from the clinic. They sent it in a hard case that zips shut. I kept stored the needles and alcohol pads in their and put that in the outer pocket too. I also had an extra copy of the letter from my doctor in my carry on. I was prepared.

 

 

 

 

 

It turned out to be no big deal. They didn’t even look at the doctor’s note. I just told them that I had a refrigerated medication with me. They put it through the scanner and then did an extra check by just looking inside the main compartment of the bag and waving some kind of sensor near the box of medication. That was it. They also did an extra check of my carry-on, I’m guessing because I had like five prescription medication and a whole bunch of over the counter supplements and things in their. Once we got up to the x-ray machine, the whole thing took like 5 minutes.

Then, when we got on the plane, I asked the flight attendant if they could refrigerate it for me. He said they weren’t allowed to, but he could give me as much ice as I wanted. He also said that we could use the bathroom or he’d clear out the galley when I needed to administer the injection.

Our flight ended up being pretty turbulent and the seat belt sign was on for the majority of the flight. It was a redeye and we had our own row, so my partner did the injection quickly in our seats when no one was looking. Happily, we did not hit any bumps at that moment. I put the cap back on the used needle and put it in an inside pocket of the hard case. Once we got to our destination airport all the bathrooms had needle disposal bins, and I was able to dispose of the needle safely.

One thing that I didn’t think about was the time change. I actually have to do the injection around 2am here to keep the time between doses consistent. This also affects when I change the estrogen patches. I’ve been keeping all the used needles capped and in the hard case. I plan to dispose of them at the airport prior to going through security on our way back.

So that’s the DL on traveling with needles:

  • It’s no big deal
  • Have a doctor’s note just in case
  • Have a plan to safely dispose of needles
  • Mind the time change

Just Enough, No More

Whew! After three weeks of 10-14 hour days including weekends, I am just a puddle. And I realized that I need to work on doing just enough. When I was in grad school, my therapist counseled me to try to get B’s not A’s. This is great advice for a perfectionist. More often than not, I stressed less and still got A’s. So now I’m trying to apply the same principal to work. I can always imagine doing more, doing better. However right now, it’s important to do just enough and no more.

Lupron update: constant and intense hot flashes, brittle nails, still feeling pretty bitchy and irritable. My partner is just done with the lupron. He’s completely out of patience for the irritability, and I don’t blame him. I am too.

FET Update: I finally have a plan! The transfer is Nov. 9! That’s T – 4 weeks & 2 days. More details to come. In the meantime, I’ve got all sorts of drugs showing up in the mail….

IMG_20171010_190757 (1) I’m starting to get super excited and hopeful again. I’m still waiting on a couple other things to get started. Cycle prep officially starts October 19. Until then, my mottos are:

  • Do just enough
  • Do whatever it takes to get through the day
  • Ask for help
  • Have compassion for myself

#Microblog Mondays: Coloring Zen… or something like that

So after my last blog, things only got more intense at work. I’ve been working from 8:30 in the morning until 10 or 11 at night, plus 6-10 hours on weekends. Yesterday, I finally just stopped. I took one fucking day off and felt guilty about it the whole time. (Have I mentioned that I have issues?)

Part of this is that my career decided to take off, just when I’m planning to have a baby, part of it is an unhealthy worry about being able to support myself, and part of it is because it’s bury myself in work or sit around ruminating about my upcoming cycle. I’m seeing my doctor on Tuesday, and won’t have any new info until then.

Lupron report: hot flashes (annoying, but bearable), hightened anxiety and hyper vigilance, decreased appetite, exhaustion, short-term memory problems, over-sensitive. Here’s a weird one. I read a forum post where someone said they got brittle nails. I was like, I wouldn’t know if I had that my nails already break a lot. As I was thinking that, I banged my hand against a chair by accident (I’m super klutzy) and my nail didn’t just break it shattered above the skin. So yeah, brittle nails. The worst side effect for me, by far, is intense flair-ups of chronic pain.

So how have I been getting through? This has been keeping me sane:

Coloring + snarky = relaxing. Somebody posted this on the Matt & Doree’s Eggcellent Adventure Facebook group. I ordered it as soon as I saw it. Thanks to MeMoments Creative for granting permission to post images and also for making such a kick-ass coloring book. It’s completely theraputic.

So here’s how I spent my Saturday decompressing:

Yes, this silly coloring trend has been keeping me from bursting into tears about all sorts of silly things. Well at least making it happen less often. I highly recommend it.

The Lupron Depot Report

Today was the day. I switched from daily subcutaneous lupron to intermuscular lupron depot that lasts 1 month. About two months ago, I got a box in the mail from my pharmacy that looked like this:

Lupron depot box

Hmm, I’m imagining those old movies with the giant nefarious Victorian era syringes…

It said it should be stored at room temperature, so I kept it in a box in front of the AC unit all summer. I was concerned that it got too hot, bit the nurse wasn’t concerned so I guess it was all good.

Nurse? I’m an expert at this by now. I’ve done four rounds of progesterone in oil. Apparently, this drug is required to be administered in a doctor’s office. Maybe because you only have one shot not to screw it up.

Anyway, here’s the nurse telling me she doesn’t recommend looking at the needle:

It looks waaay more scary than it is. I proceeded to turn around and bare my ass. (I have no sense of privacy left after four years of infertility treatments.) I barely felt it go in. There was pressure and some pain from the medication going in, but not as much as the flu shot that I got last week. They did warn me that side effects might start in about a week, and that they might be more intense than on the daily lupron. (Now you tell me.)

So, that was it. I put my skirt back on and ran off to a meeting.

#MicroblogMondays: This is not a blog about being perfect

Going into the end of week four on daily Lupron following laparoscopy and it is kicking my ass. I was worried about getting super depressed on it, but I’m just hyper irritable and anxious, which frankly makes me come off as a total bitch. My partner is a real trouper.

So this is me seven and a half weeks post surgery and 27 days into the lupron. (Just keeping it real here.)

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I’m bloated from the daily injections and am starting to get a localized rash from it each morning. That said, my surgery scars a way smaller than I thought they’d be and it hasn’t been as bad as the stim period of a fresh cycle. I’ve been thinking about working the scars into a tattoo when this is all over. Any ideas, Reader? I’m scheduled for the month long depot injection this coming Wednesday, so we’ll see how that goes….

In the meantime, I’m keeping myself busy with work (way too busy). I’m trying to figure out how to lower my stress level and relax a bit, but that’s not a talent of mine. I’m also trying to avoid moments of weakness like this morning when I added a bunch of onesies to my ThinkGeek wishlist.

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(One of them was a Star Trek Next Gen engineering uniform! Am I right?) Anyway they’re perpetually out of stock and apparently so am I.

This post inspired by the the Stirrup Queens #MicroblogMondays. Hop on over to check out more blogs.

Week three of Leuprolide

I want to give a short update about how things are going on my Leuprolide Acetate (Lupron) protocol. First a quick note: In this blog, I will talk in detail about medications and protocols prescribed to me. This is never meant as advice for anyone else. Our bodies and circumstances are all different. The only thing that I recommend is talking to your doctors, doing internet research with a healthy dose of skepticism, and practicing self-advocacy.

I am almost done with my second week of subcutaneous Leuprolide injections. I am doing a protocol in which I take Leuprolide for 2-3 months to suppress endometriosis followed by a frozen embryo transfer. (Research shows that the benefits of this protocol are inconclusive, but that is where I am at desperation-wise right now.)

Since depression is a common side effect of Leuprolide and I have a history of all sorts of depression and anxiety, I opted to try daily injections first before moving to a monthly one. That way we can pull the plug on the treatment quickly if anything goes wrong. My reproductive psychiatrist also kept me on an SSRI in addition to my regular medication and I’ve been taking another anti-anxiety medication on top of that. Sucks to be on more drugs, but it’s getting me through with less emotional side effects.

I started the injections in the morning before I realized that most women do them in the evening to avoid the side-effects being worse during the day. The injections themselves aren’t bad. I can barely feel the needle and it doesn’t burn going in like some of the injections that you take to stim during a fresh cycle. The worst side effect for me so far is problems with short term memory. It basically makes me super ditsy, so I write down or record EVERYTHING or I will forget it. It’s also embarrassing to frequently stop mid sentence during meetings because I can’t remember what I started to say.

So that’s where I’m at: holding pattern, trying to not let it affect work too much, keeping a close eye on my mood. Waiting is the worst!