Have Needles, Will Travel

So I traveled to a an international conference this weekend. I finished the letrozole, but am still on daily lupron, estrogen patches, and my meds for anxiety and depression (in the process of tapering off two of them and continuing with one). The lupron was already opened and has to be refrigerated. The nurses told me that the refrigeration is to discourage bacteria growth and not for stability of the medication. She said we’d be ok, if it wasn’t refrigerated 100% of the time, but that we’d have to be extra careful with sanitation when preparing and administering it.

So I had my whole set-up ready to go. First I put the lupron bottle in it’s box then wrapped it in bubble wrap, partly to help keep it upright and partly to keep it from freezing. I packed it in an insulated reusable grocery bag with cold packs. In the outside pocket of the bag, I had a copy of my doctor’s note on letterhead from the clinic and the top of the outerbox where the actual prescription sticker is. A while back, I had to take home a pre-filled needle of medication from the clinic. They sent it in a hard case that zips shut. I kept stored the needles and alcohol pads in their and put that in the outer pocket too. I also had an extra copy of the letter from my doctor in my carry on. I was prepared.

 

 

 

 

 

It turned out to be no big deal. They didn’t even look at the doctor’s note. I just told them that I had a refrigerated medication with me. They put it through the scanner and then did an extra check by just looking inside the main compartment of the bag and waving some kind of sensor near the box of medication. That was it. They also did an extra check of my carry-on, I’m guessing because I had like five prescription medication and a whole bunch of over the counter supplements and things in their. Once we got up to the x-ray machine, the whole thing took like 5 minutes.

Then, when we got on the plane, I asked the flight attendant if they could refrigerate it for me. He said they weren’t allowed to, but he could give me as much ice as I wanted. He also said that we could use the bathroom or he’d clear out the galley when I needed to administer the injection.

Our flight ended up being pretty turbulent and the seat belt sign was on for the majority of the flight. It was a redeye and we had our own row, so my partner did the injection quickly in our seats when no one was looking. Happily, we did not hit any bumps at that moment. I put the cap back on the used needle and put it in an inside pocket of the hard case. Once we got to our destination airport all the bathrooms had needle disposal bins, and I was able to dispose of the needle safely.

One thing that I didn’t think about was the time change. I actually have to do the injection around 2am here to keep the time between doses consistent. This also affects when I change the estrogen patches. I’ve been keeping all the used needles capped and in the hard case. I plan to dispose of them at the airport prior to going through security on our way back.

So that’s the DL on traveling with needles:

  • It’s no big deal
  • Have a doctor’s note just in case
  • Have a plan to safely dispose of needles
  • Mind the time change

FET Update

So I made it through the testing gauntlet. Suppression check looked good and so did my endoscopy (though the biopsy results aren’t back yet). So, I started medications to prepare for FET  #4 last Saturday.

So, for three days I’ve been on an estrogen patch, letrozole, and am back to the daily leuprolide acetate at half the dose I was at before. Apparently the letrozole is specific to a protocol for women with endometriosis. Haven’t started crying randomly yet. (That’s what happened last time I was on estrogen patches.) I’m also in the middle of tapering off of the benzodiazepine that I was on to counteract the side effects of the lupron.

Trying to hang in there and cut myself a break every now and again, but it’s also exciting to be proactively doing something again. I calculated my chances of pregnancy over several transfers. I took a percentage on the conservative side of the range for my chance of conceiving per embryo. I put that at 20%. So each transfer of one embryo, I always have the same 20% chance. legendary item However over time, my chance of getting within that 20% increases. I actually found the formula for this on a website calculated the chance of different bosses dropping loot in WoW. LOL.

Here it is:

1 – ( ( 1 – x ) ^ y )

So, using this formula, I calculated my chances for this transfer with two embryos is approximately 36%. If I transfer all six embryos (not all at once) at my current clinic, my chances are about 74% and if I transfer all nine that I have on ice we’d be around 87%. My partner then pointed out we should include all of our previous attempts (six embryos). That would put us at a total of 15 attempts, each with the more conservative 20% chance of working out. Plug that into the formula and we get a 96% chance. Of course that doesn’t take into account the long journey we’ve had to find the possible cause of our infertility (endometriosis). The treatment of that underlying factor and any other factors that we might not know about.

Still, a girl’s got to hope. I’d say these are some pretty good odds of a legendary loot drop 🙂

By the way, here is that probability formula graphed: my chances are beautiful….
probability graph

Week three of Leuprolide

I want to give a short update about how things are going on my Leuprolide Acetate (Lupron) protocol. First a quick note: In this blog, I will talk in detail about medications and protocols prescribed to me. This is never meant as advice for anyone else. Our bodies and circumstances are all different. The only thing that I recommend is talking to your doctors, doing internet research with a healthy dose of skepticism, and practicing self-advocacy.

I am almost done with my second week of subcutaneous Leuprolide injections. I am doing a protocol in which I take Leuprolide for 2-3 months to suppress endometriosis followed by a frozen embryo transfer. (Research shows that the benefits of this protocol are inconclusive, but that is where I am at desperation-wise right now.)

Since depression is a common side effect of Leuprolide and I have a history of all sorts of depression and anxiety, I opted to try daily injections first before moving to a monthly one. That way we can pull the plug on the treatment quickly if anything goes wrong. My reproductive psychiatrist also kept me on an SSRI in addition to my regular medication and I’ve been taking another anti-anxiety medication on top of that. Sucks to be on more drugs, but it’s getting me through with less emotional side effects.

I started the injections in the morning before I realized that most women do them in the evening to avoid the side-effects being worse during the day. The injections themselves aren’t bad. I can barely feel the needle and it doesn’t burn going in like some of the injections that you take to stim during a fresh cycle. The worst side effect for me so far is problems with short term memory. It basically makes me super ditsy, so I write down or record EVERYTHING or I will forget it. It’s also embarrassing to frequently stop mid sentence during meetings because I can’t remember what I started to say.

So that’s where I’m at: holding pattern, trying to not let it affect work too much, keeping a close eye on my mood. Waiting is the worst!

It’s Not Me, It’s the Hormones

tired dog

So I had a post-surgery appointment today. The good news is that I’m doing great! Healing quickly, in less pain than ever before in my life. The bad news is that the exhaustion that I thought was my body recovering from surgery is most likely actually from all the post-surgery and pre-IVF hormones and the anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medications that I’m taking. I think that this blog will be most helpful to you, reader, if I keep things real. So, in addition to talking about infertility, I will also be talking about what it’s like to go through infertility (and hopefully pregnancy and beyond) with a pre-existing anxiety disorder and history of depression. As you likely know first-hand if you are also struggling toward parenthood, there are all kinds of scary statistics out there about the level of stress that going through infertility causes. OK, I’m getting off topic. We will geek out about infertility and stress in a later post, complete with scholarly references. For now, let’s just leave it at my anxiety medication and hormones for infertility treatment are not playing nice. I’m exhausted all the time, and I now realize that this state of affairs won’t go away with one more week of rest. I have to find a way to cope and get work done while I’m this exhausted, possibly for months on end. I’m not sure what I’m going to do to cope yet. In the past I’ve broken my work up into small, doable chunks and rewarded myself for completing each chunk. I’ve also used the ideas of self-compassion and self-care. Now that I’m aware of the cause, I’m confident that I will find ways to slog through: one small step at a time.

Resources that I’ve found helpful:

Gamify Your Infertility (because why not): SuperBetter

Get support and, if you need it, help from an expert: