Confession: I am getting my hopes waaaay up there. It is my 6th day of a positive home pregnancy test; and, yes, the lines are getting darker. I haven’t been wanting to write because I don’t want to be excited. I’m afraid that IVF has made me bitter. I see other women’s excited posts about getting their first positive and being so excited to have a baby. I just think, “Suckers. They have no clue that they shouldn’t be so happy right now. It could be nothing. They shouldn’t get so ahead of themselves.” Of courses my mom pulled it out of me. She wouldn’t stop nagging me about whether I tested and I felt guilty outright lying to her when evading the questions didn’t work. This prompted my partner to feel that it was only fair to then tell his family. I also then had to tell all my siblings because I new that my mom would if I didn’t, then we had to tell his siblings. Ugh. It’s just now how I always imagined telling my family the news. I remember my Cousin announced his first baby at our family Christmas gathering. They hadn’t even told my Aunt so everyone was surprised and crying with happiness. I always imagined something like that or all the cutsie announcements for grandparents that you see on Pinterest. Well my announcements went something like this, “So, you know we’re doing another IVF cycle. Well this time, we’re seeing some positive signs. Now we don’t know anything for sure yet, but we have had positive tests for the last few days. Don’t get too excited yet, we really won’t know anything until the beta and then we’ll have to wait two more weeks for the first ultrasound and we won’t really know viability until then. So, yay….” By that time, they’ve tempered the little bit of spark that they did have in their eyes. Thanks, infertility. Forgive this post for being a bit overly negative. Over the last two days, the hormones have gotten me completely out of whack. I’m super irritable and emotional. So, for the sake of you readers who may be wondering what to expect in the future, I will end the HCG-tainted philosophizing here and get right to the symptoms and pee stick pics.
1dp5dt (1 day past 5 day transfer, equivalent to 6dpo (6 days past ovulation)):
HPT (home pregnancy test): FRER (First Response Early Result) negative – Yes, I tested. Yes, I expected a negative.
Symptoms: Bloated and gassy, Irritable and moody, Overly tired (You will notice these as recurring themes) *Note: Constipation & Tender breasts – I had these symptoms every day, but I’m not going to write them everyday to spare you repetitiveness and because I’ve had these symptoms from the progesterone in oil for every cycle that I’ve done.
2dp5dt (If you don’t know what that means see above):
HPT: FRER negative
Symptoms: mild, dull backache, lightheaded, Overly Tired, Frequent Urination (probably because I upped my water intake), gassy, markedly increased appetite
3dp5dt: (Come on get with the acronyms! Or are you not crazed TTCers who are waiting for your BFP during the TWW and are tweaking out on tracking your CM, BBT, CP and CIO as you count DPO and try not to POAS while you can’t BD with your DP?)
HPT: FRER x2 negative
Symptoms: Bloated & gassy; mild, occasional cramping; mild headache; Nausea; Overly Tired
4dp5dt (See now you’re an expert):
HPT: FRER x2 negative (but I really, really think I can see a shadow line, for real this time.)
Symptoms: Bloated and gassy (yes, still!); lightheaded; Overly tired; Notably increased appetite
HPT: FRER x2 POSITIVE!!!!
Symptoms: Runny nose (Hey, that’s different!); Overly Tired; Irritable (like more than my normal irritable); an pulling/stretching feeling that’s uncomfortable in my low abdomen
HPT: FRER and ClearBlue Rapid Detection – POSITIVE!!!! (Yes, I’m going to keep screaming that because I just can’t bloody believe it.)
Symptoms: Moody/Emotional; Bloated; That pulling feeling again; Mild headache; Heartburn (like waaay worse than my chronic heartburn that I’ve had a daily basis for years); Increased Appetite (I am eating like 4 full meals a day when I usually eat 2.5.)
HPT: FRER and ClearBlue Rapid Detection – POSITIVE!!!!
Symptoms: Noticeably more acute sense of smell; Runny nose; Bloated & gassy (Let’s just assume that I have that from now on so that I don’t have to keep writing it.)
8dp5dt: HTP: FRER, Rite Aid Digital, & ClearBlue Rapid Detection: POSITIVE!!!!
Symptoms: Runny nose and mild sore throat; Overly tired; frequent urination; mild headache; Irritable; Acute sense of smell
9dp5dt (equivalent of 14dpo):
HTP: FRER x1: POSITIVE!!!!
Symptoms: Runny nose; mild sore throat; very mild occasional cramps; Overly tired; Mild headache; Horrible heartburn; Irritable; Acute sense of smell
HTP: FRER x1: POSITIVE!!!!
Symptoms: Extremely irritable, plus the usual suspects: bloated, constipated, overly tired, gassy, soar boobs – You know, keeping it super sexy over at the Impatiently household.) 11dp5dt: Beta Day! ?????