Since I began with the middle, this is the post, reader, in which I bring you up to speed on my long struggle.

Preface (a little bit of rant on my soapbox… because I can): 

I do not support the Suffering Olympics (aka. competing to see whose infertility story involves the most suffering). Everyone’s journey is their own. Every infertility sucks. Period. I simply share mine here for context and so that readers with questions can reach out. 

2014:

• Context: I’ve been on birth control since puberty for irregular periods and pain. I take medication to manage severe anxiety and occasional bouts of depression.  I’ve had all sorts of chronic pain most of my life. I’ve never been pregnant. Partner and I are both 31.
• I taper off my anxiety medication and have my IUD removed (Yay! We’re going to have a baby!)
• We try for six months using ovulation test kits right out of the gate. (I’m really impatient so we were going to get this thing done as efficiently as possible.)
• Nothing happens, so my gyno throws my first infertility drug into the mix. Clomid + timed intercourse (Yes, this is the point when sex becomes “intercourse,” ugh.)

2015:

• We see an Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) for the first time.
• Lots of testing: (Blood tests timed to cycle, Ultrasounds timed to cycle, HSG, Saline Sono, Genetic panels for myself & partner, Sperm analysis for partner)
• No cause for infertility found (Maybe a partially blocked tube?) “I’m almost certain you’ll have a baby within three months,” says the RE
• Three IUIs (Clomid + trigger) = Nothing
• IVF #1: Fresh cycle = 4 embryos, 2 transferred = Nothing
• IVF # 2: Fresh cycle = 4 embryos, 2 transferred = Nothing

2016

• Now we’re broke, so lots of waiting (grrrr) while we pay off our IVF debt.
• More tests: Abdominal ultrasound, Karyotype testing for partner and me
• So much waiting
• FET #1: 2 transferred. FIRST POSITIVE EVER!!! The nurse warns me that it my beta is very low and unlikely to be viable.
• FET ends in a chemical pregnancy a week later.
• I go back on my anxiety medication, but plan to go off of it again for the next transfer.

2017

• IVF # 3: Fresh Cycle only = 1 embryo
• PGS (pre-implantation genetic screening) of the 1 fresh + 2 banked embryos reveals that all three are genetically normal.
• Back to the drawing board: we switch to a new clinic
• My new RE thinks I have endometriosis and that it is the cause of our infertility. (Someone took my pain seriously, and we might have answers? What!!)
• Lots of tests: More comprehensive genetic panel for partner and self, genetic counseling, uterine biopsies, hysteroscopy, abdominal MRI “with gel” (NOT recommended)
• IVF # 4: Fresh Cycle only = 7 embryos, PGS shows 6 are genetically normal
• Start birth control pill to prep for surgery
• Depressive episode, add a new medication to my current anxiety med, diagnosed with Premenstrual Dysphoria Disorder (PMDD) (Just add it to the list).
• Laproscopic Surgery: confirmed and removed endometriosis, found and removed small uterine septum, third procedure to relieve painful bladder syndrome.
• 4 weeks of estrogen and 1 week of progesterone to support recovery from surgery

Current & Upcoming (It’s still 2017? Whew!)

• Current:
  • daily luprolide acetate injections to suppress endometriosis growth (it also puts me into a menopausal state)
  • Taking two daily medications, plus one as needed (to help with anxiety and depression while they’re messing about with my hormones)
• Upcoming:
  • Switch to monthly lupron injection
  • Just one more test….: 3D ultrasound
  • FET #2 is coming (November?)