Have I mentioned that I am impatient? Well it’s no exaggeration. In preschool other 4 year olds used to scold me by singing the “Be Patient” song to me. I haven’t improved much over the years. For impatient people, recovering from surgery is a bitch. If are dealing with infertility, you probably already know about getting caught in the Infertility Time Warp where ever single cycle feels like slowly creeping years, especially cycles when you are not undergoing any sort of “active” treatment. Yes, giving myself daily injections is unpleasant, but it does make time move slightly faster.

Before I underwent my laproscopy, I wondered what the recovery would be like. Of course, everyone is different. For me, the pain went away quickly. I even felt less pain than before the surgery, likely due to the endometriosis that was removed. The part that is still kicking my ass two and a half weeks later is the exhaustion. It takes energy to repair your body after surgery. (I also had two other procedures done in addition to removing the endo; more on that later.) So I feel good, but I get tired after doing even small tasks. If I rally for a whole day and say work from home, which for me involves sitting on the couch while I write or talk with people on the phone, then the next day I’m wiped and have to take multiple naps. It’s frustrating to feel good, but not be able to do very much, even when it’s good for me.

Another aspect of the frustration is feeling like I’m so close, but having to wait. I’m doing a medication protocol for three months while I recover leading up to a frozen embryo transfer in mid-November. “You’ve already been on this road for three and a half years, so what’s three more months?” A rational person might ask me. Well, impatience is not rational. As my hope gets renewed, the waiting gets harder.